21 Guaranteed Ways to Fail on the Internet

More and more people are getting online each day. As of today, China has the highest number of Internet users, followed closely by the United States and India. In the 10th position is Nigeria, it is reported that 28.3% of Nigerians are online.

Internet Users in the WorldThis means that in Nigeria as well as other countries of the world, there is a growing competition in the online sphere.

Remember, the old saying “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

So, if you have plans to fail online, then here are 21 guaranteed ways to fail on the Internet:

  1. Leave the same old content on your website. Never, ever update it. What’s the use, after all it’s just a website.
  2. Never build links. What the heck is link building?
  3. Don’t add a blog to your website. Who will update the blog? Like most people keep saying; I don’t have strength for all this Internet things…..
  4. Hate SEO so much that you can’t touch with a long fork. SEO what?
  5. Hide Social media buttons on your site. Why would you want someone to share your content?
  6. Don’t find and correct html and CSS errors on your website. Forget them as long as the homepage is visible to humans.
  7. Fight Google. Hate them, dislike them and never listen to them especially Matt Cutts (one of the top search engine engineers @ Google). Infact, prove your stubbornness and do everything they said you should not do.
  8. Ensure that your site’s navigation is complex and bad i.e. No visible breadcrumbs for humans and search engine bots.
  9. Load your site with so many images and flash. Because they make websites beautiful and visitors love beautiful sites.
  10. Never market your website after it is launched. Simply get someone to design a good website, buy your domain and hosting and then upload it online. After this is done, go home and relax, because you are done with the most difficult aspect which is to create a website.
  11. Don’t bother about having a valid RSS feeds. What’s that? RSS what?
  12. Be certain that all your content are just text. Why create video or audio content? Who would watch or listen to them?
  13. Don’t submit your new site and sitemap to the search engines. It is a waste of time, the search engines will locate your prestigious website.
  14. Acquire all the gadgets on God’s earth and don’t ever use them promote your site.
  15. Don’t place your website’s link in your email signature. This is a sure waste of time!
  16. Always send your email via free emails – @yahoo or @gmail and never ever use your own domain. After all who cares as long as the mail gets sent.
  17. Make sure your website is not mobile ready. Join the school of thoughts that believe only students or young adults use mobile phones to access the Internet.
  18. Yes, white-hat SEO is expensive, so go blackhat – they are cheap, less expensive and can implement techniques that can increase traffic.
  19. Register and forget your website and domain login details in the hands of your IT guru and then focus on growing your business to a multi-million dollars business empire. If he comes tomorrow asking for 1 million dollars compensation just write him a cheque.
  20. Never leverage on other established blog’s popularity. So don’t guest blog.
  21. Join a link building farm. After all Google only delisted 1.5 million sites during their last update. Millions of other sites are still enjoying the top positions on SERPs.
  22. Bonus point: Don’t hire CFA Leverage for your affordable and effective SEO Services – manual directory submission, article marketing, video marketing, search engine marketing and other essential online services that every site in today’s competitive world needs.

I agree that the above choice of language isn’t the best for a die hard optimist but I recognize that more people get to fail than succeed. This is because majority of people hardly ever plan their lives, so failure is guaranteed.

If you diligently adhere to all the 21 ways I have stated above then I can assure you that your site will be a waste of resources and finally a BIG failure.

What’s your take?

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